The Great Peanut Robbery

A representative of the Kingdom of Stark announced today, that one week ago a robbery occurred at the Blue Jay peanut feeder.
A castle source, who asked not be identified, told reporters that about a week ago the Blue Jay feeder, located on the castle grounds, was looted. Access was gained by climbing up the support pole and cutting the cord that held the feeder in place. At first it was thought that the cord had broken due to normal wear.
The King’s Grounds Keeper quickly replaced it, with the Blue Jay family hungrily standing by. Two days later it was raided again. This time the Grounds Keeper noted that the cord was rubbing on the side of the Squirrel shield and assumed that it had broken on its own accord.

When the cord was broken for the third time the Grounds Keeper called in the Royal Sheriff to investigate. He immediately cordoned off the area to look for clues and interview potential witnesses. Hughie the cat said that he saw nothing and was doing his normal activity, sleeping. The Blue Jay family told the Sheriff that each afternoon before the cord was cut they had visited the feeder before going home for the night. The next day when they returned for breakfast the feeder was on the ground empty. The break in the case came when the Grounds Keeper said that on the last robbery, when he went out to see what happened, there was Mr. Squirrel standing on his hind legs eating a peanut.

Based on this evidence, the Sheriff issued an all-points bulletin for the arrest of Mr. Squirrel for questioning. He also went to the King with the results of the investigation. The King listened to all the evidence in the case, and as a result issued a proclamation offering a reward of 100 peanuts for the apprehension and conviction of the person or persons unknown who looted the Blue Jay’s peanut feeder. The King then established a committee, with the Grand Wizard as Chairman. The committee was to investigate the failure of the cord and to make recommendation to fix the problem. On the committee was the wise old owl for engineering, the raccoon for security and the possum for animal rights.

After several heated discussions, the committee made the recommendation to the King that the cord should be replaced with a cable. The Queen was very concerned that the squirrel, who was thought to be the culprit, would break his teeth on the cable and did not have dental insurance. The King ordered the cable anyway and the Grounds Keeper installed it on the feeder.

So far no one has found the missing peanuts, or the squirrel, or claimed the reward, but the cable seems to have solved the problem.

End of story